More jokes to relax a bit

A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.

His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl” ?

The logician replies: “yes”.

A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies “No I’m traveling light”

Your mother is so classless, she could be a marxist utopia

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks “dry?”, he replies “nein, just one”

An engineer, a chemist, and an economist are marooned on a desert island. They start to brainstorm a way off the island.
The engineer says, “we can lash together some branches and make a crude raft and try to make our way back to land somehow.”
The chemist says, “with the right materials we could build a really smokey fire and try to signal a plane.”
The economist says, “okay let’s assume we have a boat…”

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything”.

The vendor makes the hot dog and hands it to the Buddhist monk, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. “Excuse me, but where’s my change?” asks the Buddhist monk. The vendor replied, “Change must come from within.”

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, to whom.

The barman says, “We don’t serve time travellers in here.”

A time traveller walks into a bar.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A fish.

Silver and Gold walk into a bar.

Bartender says “‘ey you, get outta here!”

Gold leaves the bar.

Q: How was Louis the XIV feeling after completing the Palace of Versailles?

A: Baroque

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?